Song in my heart

There's a song in my heart
And I long to sing it
I open my mouth, and silence streams out
Its as if the world around has stolen my voice, stolen my words
I stand dejected
For this song I long to sing
I've longed to sing for a while

I hear the song in my heart
The ears of my soul are filled with its sound
Such sweet melody, ecstacy
Carrying the essence of my being
My spirit, my soul
I long to sing

Yet fear gripps me
And causes this silence
A silence louder than my song
Yet still, there's a song in my heart
And I long to sing it

I am despondent
Frustrated, aaaahhhhhhh
these words these words
the words of my song
they haunt me in the night
in the day they consume me
its as if the shadows overtake me
oh but i long to sing
the song in my heart

will you hear, do you hear it
for my fear is for my words
the words in my spirit
that will go unheard
yet, i still long to sing
the song in my heart
for you to hear, yes
but more for me
for the song in my heart
is my song

yes, it speaks of me; yet it speaks to me
so i sing
the song in my heart, song of my soul
and the melody soars, high above
transcending my fears, freeing me
for this song in my heart
is a song to sing

The arrows that are shot in our paths

For the longest time I ignored God and made my bible a nice accessory for my bookshelf. And I let God go for ages without hearing my voice. And I wasn't bothered with listening to him either. So I went on from day to day, along the negative progression path. But one day my spirit, my soul couldn't take it anymore. So in a battle of will, emotion, ego and much else, I found my way back to God. And I found a place where I could just be. Coming as I was, I found was easier than I thought. For God's work in me meant to change me, transform me. And it was not my job alone. I had supernatural help. So slowly, I began to feel strengthened. My confidence and trust in him grew with each day. As I spent time in his presence, I yearned for more of him. And he drew me closer, pushed me and pulled me to greater heights. I learnt to cast all my cares on him. I took my burdens and placed them in his hands.

In all this, the world around me still revolved around the sun. The days came and went. People lived. Bills still needed to be paid, work to to be done, plans made, actions taken. And because I have been made a relational being, I encountered other beings everyday. The encounters were of different kinds, at different levels. Each time, I found myself having to deal circumstances, perceptions, attitudes, thoughts, words spoken, voices in my head and i had to make choices. I found that even though God was doing something in me and I knew it, God still didn't make choices for me. I found that in his orchestration of everything, God gave me room to be, to live, to choose. And in this he gave me responsibility. I found that God didn't always remove unpleasant circumstances from my path. But he made a way. Always. Faithfully. God gave me choices, options, conditions and consequences. Something this independent me appreciates. And as I have spent more time getting to know him, I've found that he equips me. He's on my side.. and everyday when I seek him, he armours me, so i can fight the fiery darts of the enemy.... he changes my standpoint, so i can deflect the arrows that are shot in my path.....he strengthens me, gives me courage, charges me up so i walk and run, advancing in battle.. and when the arrows are being shot in my path I know my destiny is victory......Sweet Victory. So I fight this fight of faith,of hope and of love and I choose Him and his way, and therein choose life. And that arrows that are shot in my path...... are rendered powerless