Faith

Faith hurts, It exposes you, makes you vulnerable
It stands and says... I trust and I hope and I will... for the best
Sometimes I am full yet at times I am running low

The substance of things hoped for, evidence of things unseen
It anticipates, that surely surely surely, it will come to pass
That the door will open, the mountain will move
Faith speaks, faith hears,
It sees Beyond present circumstances
It comprehends
Faith is the reason it is, the reason it will be
Yet at times, I am running low

Its as if I'm standing in a room
A room full of people, young and old, male and female
And I am naked, in the centre I stand
They stand with me my fellows,
There is strength and resolve in our numbers, even in our nakedness

All around me, others are rescued
I look up, and they all pass me by
My eyes flicker with hope with each approaching person
I see pity in their eyes, for none bears a banner with my name

Their sympathy drives them to urge me to hold on as they pass me by;
For surely my rescue is near
Yet their cliched words are meaningless to me
For I am still standing right here, Naked and in full view

Panic stricken, my eyes dart back and forth the room
Up and down, I appraise the room
Hoping, wishing, yet fearful
For in this moment.. It seems like anything would do, anything would suffice
Rather than standing here
Naked and In full view of all. All in full view of me

Soon I am all but left alone in the centre of the room
Now I no longer stand, I am weary. Weary from waiting, waiting anxiously
The cold floor offers no solace to my body, no balm to my aching soul
I feel my strength and resolve seeping out of my spirit

As I lie on the hard floor, a little part of me dares to hope, to hold on, not quit
I am fearful to admit this, even to myself, For how can this be?
Is it Faith that's kept me in the room?
Is it Faith that's kept my eyes looking out?
Faith that's lived as a flicker within me
Faith that's refused to die
Faith so small, I almost didn't realise I had

How I desire that I had the faith to keep me standing boldly
The faith to resolutely search for my own name on the passing banners
The faith that eliminates desperation from my eyes as I stand
Vulnerable yes, yet patient even in my nakedness

But I know now, faiths end would be the death of me
Faith is in the assurance
The knowledge, not only that they'll come; Those that are sent for me
Bearing a banner with my name on it
But more so who'll come
For He who comes is surely faithful, and unchanging

I cant help but wonder though
What took them so long
Yes. I still have a lot to learn
An unquestioning faith to gain

Who am I?

I have come to know this;

The road to full disclosure and discovery of who I am, is my life.
Hope refuses to reach a point of contentment; of saying I know who I am fully and there's nothing more, nothing new, no change. That will be the death of me.
Hope longs to know enough of who I am to carry me through each time, moment, season.
For who I am is constant, yet continually changing. For as I am a sculptor of things and processes in my life........people, events, processes, attitudes, perceptions, will mould me, shape me, dent me.. into who I am.
So I embrace life. As a journey. Of perpetual learning. At times rather slow, yet in other moments fast-paced.
Who I am is not only what I do, that's a small facet. Its not only what I say, how I say.... what I see, and how I see.
Its in the how, the when, the why, with whom......Who I am is in the "and then..."
What I knew of me yesterday may not hold true today, let alone tomorrow.
More so what you knew, what you know, what you will know
whom you knew, whom you know, whom you will know.
For some will know in part, some will for a moment assume full knowledge.
Are there ever moments, times, seasons of absolute certainty.. I ask?
For life will confront me, each day faces me with its endless possibilities, calling me forth to be who I am;.... in spite of,.....because of,....... so that..... through it all

I am soul, mind, body, spirit all in one
I am what I think, what I say, what I hear, what I feel
In some moments, I am what you say, not always what you see, whom you see
So who am I?
I am who I am, I am what I am, I am who I am becoming
Past, present and and future, in an intricate dance
Life's dance so fragile yet filled with strength and vigour.
I am me