Destiny was on the mountain-top - Conquering Table Mountain

It was much like our walk along life's journey. We have big dreams. We long to rise to the top; To reach our destiny.Daunting as it may be, many will make the journey up the mountain and go through it all. And when they reach the top, their realize just how far they've come. What a testament it is to human strength. Our capacity to achieve, even what seemed impossible to begin with.

I resolved that I would take it a step at a time. Occasionally gazing upwards, slowly and not for long, lest the task seem more daunting and I convince myself that I could not do it.
My backpack, reminded me of the burdens we carry, the responsibilities we bear in our walk. Sometimes a friend will help you carry it, but if you are to ensure that you have food and water, up the mountain-top, make sure you have your back pack. Don't carry too much though, it slows your progress. This is much like life. Free yourself of unnecessary baggage, burdens that stop you from reaching your destination.

Along the way, there were those who were on the climb down. "Twenty more minutes", most would all say. "You still have a long way to go", others would utter. Solicited and unsolicited, opinions would be heard. Some seeking to encourage, some downright lying. Not all you meet along the path to your destiny will be helpful. Be careful whose counsel you take.

At times, the terrain was smooth, and flat, and easy. I could not help but almost run in these sections. Knowing they would come, gave me something to look forward to. There will be good times, easier times, enjoy them.

Some rocks were larger than others, harder to climb. I needed to hold on to something, sometimes someone. Don't be afraid to seek help, or accept a helping hand in your journey.

Looking behind me, there were others climbing, ahead of me many, at times I was last..but we all made it up the mountain. Our journey in life though we walk together, is individual. There will be those faster, or slower, but if you persevere, you will get there.

Sometimes I felt like it was all too much, and I needed to rest. There were always rocks where I could sit, rest, have a drink of water. Who and what are you rocks? Your resting places? Where do you find refreshing?

The sun shone brightly at the bottom, yet somewhere in between, it became cloudier, wetter, and colder. It made the path slippery. That how our life's journey is. Do you let the weather change stop you from conquering your mountain.

Once I slipped, slid backwards. There will be those moments, when u move backwards. Get up!!! Move forward. Crawl if you must. You are on a mission.

You cannot successfully get to the mountain-top if you're not in the right gear. Some forgot their warm jackets, other realised they needed water proof ones. How well equipped are you for life's journey...the journey to your destiny?

Every-time I turned my head to the left, right, and back, the view was spectacular, the company amazing. Sometimes we would break into song. Celebrate the milestones. Take time to savour the journey. Its as beautiful as reaching the top.

We took amazing pictures. They are a lasting legacy of that journey, that achievement. Inspiring present and future generations. Leave a legacy.

Its your walk, but walk with others. When you get the the mountaintop, celebrate your success and the success of those around you. I cannot confidently say I'd have made it to the top, without the others. But even if I had, it would have been lonely with no one to celebrate with.

This mountain-top journey reminded me that I can make it. So my muscles may sore, but I have learnt this; The journey of life isn't all easy, sometimes its really sore,so sore that when you reach the mountain-top you may still feel the pain. But if you choose to forget the pain, look at how far you've come, and behold the beauty around you ; It is worth it. Because even the pain fades, is forgotten, but the memory remains,the victory lasts and the lesson stands. Because it changes your life.


Be deliberate. Conquer the mountain.

The case of the fig tree

Have you ever come across something that showed promise? That seemed like an answer to prayer. Something that seemed like your breakthrough. And as you took those steps towards it, You realised that it was a farce. It is not what it seemed to be from afar. I heard a preacher share this message the other day.
Its the story of Jesus and the fig tree found in Matthew 21, and Mark 11 where Jesus had made a triumphant entry into Jerusalem, and been to the temple. Seeing how late it was, He returned to Bethany for the night. On the next day however, according to Mark 11 from verse 11 - 22.....

1. Jesus was going about His father's business and He had a need- vs 12 "The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry"
2. He saw an opportunity and went up to it and He found no fruit - vs 13 "Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs.
3. He cursed it - vs 14 " Then he said to the tree, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again." And his disciples heard him say it"
4. It withered up - vs 20 "In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. vs 21 Peter remembered and said to Jesus, "Rabbi, look! The fig tree you cursed has withered!"

This meant that no-one else could ever see it and believe/ hope that it had any fruit.

My Challenge for you and I: Curse the in- season yet fruitless Fig tree
Why? So that None of those that come after me (my brothers and sisters, my children, their children) will ever in their hunger, face that same "fig tree" again and find no fruit.
Be deliberate......

My Big Coloured Sunglasses

My Big coloured sun-glasses
Wear them I must, everyday, practically everywhere.
By Day and By night, with consistency
They have become my shield, From the strangers' eye
Beneath them I can turn a blind eye to many an injustice
Yes, Its like I do not see.
For after all, I do have my big, coloured sun-glasses on.
They hide the hatred felt, the racism, the anger.
Yes beneath these, we pass each other seemingly unseeingly.
The windows to my soul they make obscure
So I cannot share. I do not share.
Beneath these the hungry child's pleading eyes cannot meet my gaze
Indeed they separate me from a world I refuse to acknowledge.
The wind that carries my neighbors burdens, bounces against my shield
And I walk away
Much goes on. Unseen. Ignored. Brushed aside
For behind the shield of my big coloured sun-glasses
None can point a finger. None can say I saw. None can say I knew.
I live in my world and you're not a part of it.
No. I need not turn to the other side.
I just keep facing forward. Moving On
I do not see you. Acknowledge You.
I have my big coloured sun-glasses on.

Sans List

So this new year I am not writing a new list. The list of New Year’s Resolutions. For my previous lists were not events but processes. That I dared to attach a time-frame to them is now amusing to my seemingly learned self. For if I thought only of losing 10kg in 2009, I’d quickly gain it back if it was all about 2009. No my resolutions are not for the year, they go beyond that boundary. So instead I think of how after I’ve lost the weight, how I’m going to keep it off. For surely it can’t be that my quest for spiritual growth has ended with the end of the year. And the new job I got in the last year would be gone if I didn’t resolve to keep it.

I resist the urge to make a to-do list and lean towards a to-be list. For surely who I am becoming is more important that what I am doing. And to be may not be contained within the year. No. I refuse to honor the boundaries at the expense of disrupting the flow of growth, and progress of my “becoming”.The year had many defining moments. Like waking up to the realization that the creative fire in my belly could no longer be ignored. In those early days I longed to sing a song so loud, and beautiful all would hear it. To pen words to superfluous, they begged to be read. But instead, I had to learn to listen. To listen to my heart speak to me, to words unspoken by others, and to the heartbeat of my surroundings.

In my moments of reflection and refining I found that it was not so much what was left unsaid that bothered me. What bothered me more were the unasked questions. Questions that I had, that begged for answers yet I dared not ask them. With an unanswered question, I could be free, for I dared to ask and got my reply, even if it was an “unanswer”. But to carry the burden of unasked questions is tedious. Unanswered question never go away.

I hope that in all this year I have stayed authentically me. The authentic me that is dynamic. For not only have many forces shaped me, I have responded in many ways. Sometimes I have been watered and blossomed. At times it was as if I was being ravaged by an all-consuming fire. Burn or be refined were my only choices. That I have made it out this year, is a miracle. For how often we forget how miraculous each day is.

I hope in all this I have retained my consciousness of the right and wrong, the good and bad, relevant and irrelevant, the appropriate and inappropriate. Yes we have guiding principles governing the way in which we operate, respond, act, yet I have learnt to treat each situation as it comes by, all things considered. What may seem simple in theory may have multiple levels of complexity when actually experienced.
So as the New Year begins, I treasure the processes that have brought me thus far. I have to admit that many of them can only be best appreciated in hindsight. Most of all I treasure and honor who I am becoming. This gradual process of life which I am often tempted to treat as an event.

I look at the world with eyes that have wept more tears, which carry more laughter lines, old eyes with newer perspective. I take a moment to breathe in deeply and celebrate the journey as it has been so far. I make a mental note to appreciate it more often than just at the beginning of the year. I decide to embrace and own my life once more. This New Year signals a new opportunity, to love again, to trust again, to hope again. I remind myself that each new day is a new opportunity.
So I brace myself, my arms free from any new list, ready to continue on this path of discovery that life is. Reveling in the fact that even as we each walk our path, our destinies lie interlinked and our paths coexist and intermingle. I smile on the recognition that I am free to set my own pace, and with this freedom comes responsibility.

For this past year I have learnt to own my feelings, attitudes and actions. Some have been unpleasant. I have found myself disgusted by society’s continual blame shifting my own included. How we continuously ignore even blatant injustices. How we no longer hold each other accountable and responsible. I vow to begin the change process with myself.

But the biggest decision I’ve made is of being true to myself. Of living in consciousness. Refusing to be lied to even by my own mind’s eye. Rather knowing me, knowing others and letting others know me. Being true to my womanhood, by not suppressing the instincts that may be considered distinctly feminine even in a testosterone-filled environment. Embracing the roles I have to play knowing full well they are not all that I am and becoming. This process I decide to continue in my life’s journey. Armed with my wit, grace and a smile…and Sans List

Carry Over

What happens when a new year begins?
Do we disregard the previous years dreams, desires, hopes. plans. So the year 2009 drew to a close and as I reflected, I know I've learnt much and I've grown some. Yes... I am becoming.
Yet this still lingers
What happens when the year ends and you're not where you desire to be.. where you ought to be by your own standards. Do you just accept it as your destiny? Is it God's timing?
How do you begin anew when certain things were not completed. In closing the 2009 door, what do you carry-over into the new year? What do you leave behind?

Faith

Faith hurts, It exposes you, makes you vulnerable
It stands and says... I trust and I hope and I will... for the best
Sometimes I am full yet at times I am running low

The substance of things hoped for, evidence of things unseen
It anticipates, that surely surely surely, it will come to pass
That the door will open, the mountain will move
Faith speaks, faith hears,
It sees Beyond present circumstances
It comprehends
Faith is the reason it is, the reason it will be
Yet at times, I am running low

Its as if I'm standing in a room
A room full of people, young and old, male and female
And I am naked, in the centre I stand
They stand with me my fellows,
There is strength and resolve in our numbers, even in our nakedness

All around me, others are rescued
I look up, and they all pass me by
My eyes flicker with hope with each approaching person
I see pity in their eyes, for none bears a banner with my name

Their sympathy drives them to urge me to hold on as they pass me by;
For surely my rescue is near
Yet their cliched words are meaningless to me
For I am still standing right here, Naked and in full view

Panic stricken, my eyes dart back and forth the room
Up and down, I appraise the room
Hoping, wishing, yet fearful
For in this moment.. It seems like anything would do, anything would suffice
Rather than standing here
Naked and In full view of all. All in full view of me

Soon I am all but left alone in the centre of the room
Now I no longer stand, I am weary. Weary from waiting, waiting anxiously
The cold floor offers no solace to my body, no balm to my aching soul
I feel my strength and resolve seeping out of my spirit

As I lie on the hard floor, a little part of me dares to hope, to hold on, not quit
I am fearful to admit this, even to myself, For how can this be?
Is it Faith that's kept me in the room?
Is it Faith that's kept my eyes looking out?
Faith that's lived as a flicker within me
Faith that's refused to die
Faith so small, I almost didn't realise I had

How I desire that I had the faith to keep me standing boldly
The faith to resolutely search for my own name on the passing banners
The faith that eliminates desperation from my eyes as I stand
Vulnerable yes, yet patient even in my nakedness

But I know now, faiths end would be the death of me
Faith is in the assurance
The knowledge, not only that they'll come; Those that are sent for me
Bearing a banner with my name on it
But more so who'll come
For He who comes is surely faithful, and unchanging

I cant help but wonder though
What took them so long
Yes. I still have a lot to learn
An unquestioning faith to gain

Who am I?

I have come to know this;

The road to full disclosure and discovery of who I am, is my life.
Hope refuses to reach a point of contentment; of saying I know who I am fully and there's nothing more, nothing new, no change. That will be the death of me.
Hope longs to know enough of who I am to carry me through each time, moment, season.
For who I am is constant, yet continually changing. For as I am a sculptor of things and processes in my life........people, events, processes, attitudes, perceptions, will mould me, shape me, dent me.. into who I am.
So I embrace life. As a journey. Of perpetual learning. At times rather slow, yet in other moments fast-paced.
Who I am is not only what I do, that's a small facet. Its not only what I say, how I say.... what I see, and how I see.
Its in the how, the when, the why, with whom......Who I am is in the "and then..."
What I knew of me yesterday may not hold true today, let alone tomorrow.
More so what you knew, what you know, what you will know
whom you knew, whom you know, whom you will know.
For some will know in part, some will for a moment assume full knowledge.
Are there ever moments, times, seasons of absolute certainty.. I ask?
For life will confront me, each day faces me with its endless possibilities, calling me forth to be who I am;.... in spite of,.....because of,....... so that..... through it all

I am soul, mind, body, spirit all in one
I am what I think, what I say, what I hear, what I feel
In some moments, I am what you say, not always what you see, whom you see
So who am I?
I am who I am, I am what I am, I am who I am becoming
Past, present and and future, in an intricate dance
Life's dance so fragile yet filled with strength and vigour.
I am me