Judging from my own behavior, I have become convinced that humans have a self destruct button or mentality somewhere. And that success comes from winning the battle of this seemingly inherent will to self destruct.
How else does one explain the overwhelming urge to do all things that are utterly self-defeating, when faced with the choice of going about things the "normal..read.. "boring way". How does one demystify that often times I expend my energy towards everything else but the one thing that I am meant to be doing?
How does one explain the overwhelming fear of my own success and capabilities? To what do I subscribe my bad choices?
I've walked along my life's journey long enough to know what I should be doing to get what I want most of the time. Preparing for those kairos moments, recognizing and grabbing them when they come my way. I know how hard work and discipline will take me places. Gosh.... I know to have dreams, have a living and acting faith, to keep hope alive... even not to sweat the small stuff.
But why is it that despite all this.. there are those moments... yeah.. those moments.. when doing the right thing is the last thing on my mind.. or I choose not to choose and just default..
Me is convinced its this self destruct mentality that I either created, inherited or whatever else. Its right there somewhere. Fighting my sometimes already weak will and resolve.
I realize that when I do not choose consciousness, I choose to slide into self destruct mode.And the only way out is to BE DELIBERATE
Be deliberate about my thoughts,decisions, choices, actions, responses.
I am forever grateful that everyday.. is another chance!!!
Be Deliberate!!
