Restlessness

Restlessness that keeps my eyes from closing in the night..
That drives me to distraction
Restlessness that causes fear to rise within me
Yet I vow not to let the fear of the great future ahead paralyse me
I decide to live with the greatness within
I allow the greatness within to live
For surely there is more to life than this
This ordinary mundane sort of existence
Surely I am called to more than this
I fear that I may lose the essence of it in my quest to find it
Yet am painfully aware that to not seek it out would be another tragedy
So I brace myself for what is to come
In every moment of today I envision that I am preparing for tomorrow
Yet I remain conscious of the moment that is now
And celebrate it as I live it
But I let the hope of tomorrow live
And anticipate more
For within me is greatness
Presently manifest in my restlessness
But surely I find rest
In the knowledge that I do not stand alone
No, I do not walk alone
For such a journey many men have taken
Careful not to trample those along the path
Deliberate about taking others along with
For in my greatness, lies yours
So in my every moment of becoming
You become too
As in your every moment of becoming
I too become
So begone fear, anxiety and uncertainty
For I choose to step over your shadows
To step into a greatness
That lies beyond my present restlessness

My dream... your dream

Let not your dreams perish
Rather let them flourish
For in the flowering of the dream, Your dream
The seed of your success may fall on my fertile ground
Put your ear on the ground
Hear the sound of those seeds.....germinating.....
The seeds of your success, the seeds of your dream
So let me dream
Let not my dream perish
For in my flourish
Your dreams may be awakened too

Oh, let not my dream die
Awaken the dream in me
Yes you see it, you see my dream
You feel its pulse, the faint throb of my dying dream
Let out a scream
For my dream should not perish
For within its flourish
Is the success of a nation
Yes, within my dream, Indeed within your dream
Many dreams lie, Many dreams live
So let not my dream die
Long live our people's dreams

Spring cleaning Time

Today I couldn't leave my bed. It wasn't the comfort that made me stay in. It was the burdens that kept me transfixed in that place that is my bed. It was all my fears, experiences and expectations. And the dread filled me....For I had lost all hope.. and reason for living. Lost it somewhere in this great jungle that my life had become. Everything seemed meaningless. Too much clutter in my mind. Much too much clutter in my space. I had to find what my priorities are, reevaluate my principles, check my character. Dig, search and locate them among the many random thoughts, ill-thought out ideas, flashes of inspiration, realities of rejection and failure, memories of victory and success, decisions made consciously and by default. In this jungle of the good, the bad and the ugly.. I sought to find the right, the beautiful, the life-giving. And I knew that all the rest had to go. Yes, a process of refining had to begin, and be completed in as much as it was continual. Much like salvation. So I woke up this morning with a renewed purpose.. to cast of that which is evil, and allow the good flourish. To pull out the weeds that threatened to choke my dreams away, to breathe life, faith and hope once more. Today I awoke with a renewed vigour, for the work that awaits me is plentiful. The pruning, and clearing. Gathering and destroying. Planting , watering and cultivating. The garden of my soul awaits. It is indeed spring cleaning time

In that moment of consciousness

I have found that I am not always right. In my moments of consciousness I have learnt to detect hurt in someones eyes, or see the hidden sorrow in one's heart. In my moments of consciousness I have learnt to say I'm sorry...Please... and Thank you. In my moments of consciousness I have known the joys of giving and receiving. In those moments of consciousness I have known kindheartedness, have known charity ad compassion. In my moments of consciousness I have begun to count my blessings...But most of all... In my moments of consciousness I have learnt to be alive and powered by the word. The word of God that is living and active, the word that sharper than a double-edged sword. ... the word that judges the attitudes and intentions of my heart..... and I have known the emptiness of being without "the word". When I have taken a form of godliness, but denied it power...I have seen the futility of my efforts. For what is my life without that foundation of the word.. what's the purpose if my existence in the absence of the supreme. what is freedom with no direction, no destination, no history? what is life without hope? In my moments of consciousness I have found that it is Christ in me, that is the hope of glory.. I have found that its not the word that needs me to live.. I need to word to live in me.. for it is living and active... already.. but as for me, I am dead on the inside without it. Without it, my laughter's are punctuated with sighs, and the furrowing of my brows.. for there's is that knowledge in me that this moment of laughter is unlikely to last. And when it departs, that empty space will be filled with emptiness. Without it, all my greatest selfless actions, my momentous achievements, my incredible attitudes.... are meaningless, temporary and overall insignificant. Yes I have tried to live without the word, and I almost died. Until by grace, not by coincidence or mere chance, somebody let the word drop onto my dying spirit. and my spirit soaked it up like the parched ground... but that drop touched base with the innermost river in me that was drying up.. and something was ignited. And in that moment of consciousness... in my moment of consciousness I found, that the word was the breath to my soul. its what gave meaning to my life, that which resurrected my dying spirit, the one thing that could build me up, on which I could stand, by which I could live.. for the word didn't need me to live, but i need the word alive in me.....and this I found... in that moment of consciousness

Of memories made

What do we do with the memories we made? Made in times past, recent or not so recent past. with those records of moments past.. times gone by? people long gone? places long left behind? attitudes long ago discarded? behaviours now replaced? characters now reformed? What do we do when these are triggered.
There are some memories to treasure, they bring pleasure. but what of that pressure.. of suppressing the not-so great memories... or not having to acknowledge their existence. For how do u tell today's love of yesterday's love.. the love lost.. without losing today's love..... losing them to the threats of ghosts of days gone by..the music of dances past, the echo of yesterday's laughter...How do you explain the shadows in your eyes, from the memory of pains past inflicted? How do you justify the giggles of private jokes in the memory? How oh how do you live through the adrenal rush of familiar encounters? Yes, times are past.. door have closed.. but memories last.
So I choose consciousness.. even in making memories. for accountability, responsibility is not only in action, indeed it is even in memories. choosing what I do... choosing what i say..choosing where I go... for it is these, that I will remember.. memories are made today...for tomorrow. Make them worth remembering....So...... I'll live like there's tomorrow, yet I take each day like its the last. imagining that if tomorrow wont come, this is the way I want my days remembered by those left behind, and yet imagining that when tomorrow comes, this is surely how I want to remember my yesterdays

Lest my heart stops beating....

How many times have you seen an injustice and simply turned, looked the other way? How many times have you stood up and fought for what you believed in? How many times have you come together with other like-minded people, for a cause... a good cause. Most times we have a free-rider personality... riding on other people's victories. Pretending to be apathetic while savouring the benefits of battles we chose not to fight.
So one may not and cannot fight every battle, stand up for every cause, for one must choose their battles carefully. But what is life along the apathy lane?? It isnt. Death hovers in indifference corner. Slowly, the light that is your life, the strength within, the will, the hope, the future, humanity.....fades away...No it doesnt come in swiftly... Its a slow dimming....And soon, it engulfs you.. your whole being. Now you cannot see that which matters most to you. Those that matter cannot see you. Its like your heart stops beating, and no breath comes from your nostrils, your blood ceases to flow....You are insignificant
So to those heroes who have fought daily battles, for every victory that we have savoured, we salute you. Woe to the battles of tommorrow, for I have moved out of indifference corner, walked away from apathy lane.. to that place of consciousness.. in me, my heart, my soul, my being...I will not turn back. Rather I choose to travel on this lonely road, the road less travelled. Lest my heart stops beating, and no breath comes from my notrils, and my blood ceases to flow and I find that...... I am insignificant

Living... Being Alive....Feeling Alive

I have heard people say of their loved ones "he/she makes my life worth living". or friends with kids say "when my child was born, that brought meaning to my life."
Music makes me feel alive. When I do something that brings a smile to someone's face, I feel alive. When I do something for the first time or learn something new, I feel alive. When I make a meaningful contribution to something, it makes me feel alive...
Yet most times I feel like I am merely existing... I am not really living. Or rather, that there is more to the idea of "living" than I am actually experiencing. Most times I awaken to the realise that I have let moments, opportunities, go by unnoticed. That I am just trudging along in a routine sort of existence and that life is crying out to me, calling my name. I hear the cries, the calls, yet I cannot find the source. I keep searching, its nearby, I know, for I have felt its vibrations, seen its effects, yet seemingly far, for I cannot see it. Sometimes its drowned by the voices in my head. Voices that tell me that I'll never find it. Voices telling me that the more I search for it, the more it will elude me.
But I'm not giving up. I'm learning to silence the voices in my head. Replace them with a new hope that says that I can live.. if I choose to. And I do. Voices that say I am alive. Voices that urge me to live now... not when I have a child, or when I have a life- partner, or when I become CEO. Voices that tell me that the time is now
I listen more closely and its the sound of my own voice. Speaking louder than any voice thats spoken in my head. Urging me to go on.
So I choose to listen... and obey. To live. To live in that state of consciousness. Recognising the worth of my life..Seeing possibilities... Being hope, spreading light...Living, loving... again and again.. And as it echoes in my very being.. I come to the realisation that yes, I am alive.. at this very moment.. I am alive... and I feel alive