I have heard people say of their loved ones "he/she makes my life worth living". or friends with kids say "when my child was born, that brought meaning to my life."
Music makes me feel alive. When I do something that brings a smile to someone's face, I feel alive. When I do something for the first time or learn something new, I feel alive. When I make a meaningful contribution to something, it makes me feel alive...
Yet most times I feel like I am merely existing... I am not really living. Or rather, that there is more to the idea of "living" than I am actually experiencing. Most times I awaken to the realise that I have let moments, opportunities, go by unnoticed. That I am just trudging along in a routine sort of existence and that life is crying out to me, calling my name. I hear the cries, the calls, yet I cannot find the source. I keep searching, its nearby, I know, for I have felt its vibrations, seen its effects, yet seemingly far, for I cannot see it. Sometimes its drowned by the voices in my head. Voices that tell me that I'll never find it. Voices telling me that the more I search for it, the more it will elude me.
But I'm not giving up. I'm learning to silence the voices in my head. Replace them with a new hope that says that I can live.. if I choose to. And I do. Voices that say I am alive. Voices that urge me to live now... not when I have a child, or when I have a life- partner, or when I become CEO. Voices that tell me that the time is now
I listen more closely and its the sound of my own voice. Speaking louder than any voice thats spoken in my head. Urging me to go on.
So I choose to listen... and obey. To live. To live in that state of consciousness. Recognising the worth of my life..Seeing possibilities... Being hope, spreading light...Living, loving... again and again.. And as it echoes in my very being.. I come to the realisation that yes, I am alive.. at this very moment.. I am alive... and I feel alive
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